Human's Love (人之爱)

First released in “Mars Concert 2024” Hangzhou concert, on October 26, 2024.
During the introduction to the song, Hua spent nearly 20 minutes dissecting the concept and the types of love.

Actually, in the past I would usually take a moment at this part to chat with everyone But today I’ve prepared a song for everyone One that I haven’t sung or released before So, I’d like to take some time to introduce this song Alright Let’s take ten minutes Since this song has never been performed And none of you have heard it before After all, I’m a songwriter So, I think maybe before singing, I could share the background of creating this work I hope everyone will allow me to be a bit self-indulgent Alright Take your time, we want to listen Lately, for quite a long while I’ve been reflecting on love I wanted to consider human love from a third-person perspective Why do people come together because of love? And, in the process of being together, face conflicts And even develop thoughts of wanting to separate.
Later, I realized that most people seem to fall into two types: One is highly sensitive people The other is less sensitive people So, what are these two types like? I’ll tell a little story Let’s make a hypothesis Suppose today, I’m with a few friends We’re sitting at a table playing cards Or playing board games A few people are playing board games together At this table, maybe Most are highly sensitive people And only one person is less sensitive So if we’re playing games till around 5 PM and one of the highly sensitive people starts to feel hungry He might think for a moment and then ask everyone, “About how much longer will we be playing?” At this point, the other highly sensitive people at the table instantly understand and they all subtly glance at the time without saying anything aloud Maybe some of them aren’t that hungry or are just really enjoying the game at the moment Then someone might say, “Hey, why don’t we play a couple more rounds and then go eat together—sound good?” At this point, the person who’s hungry might think about it and feel that playing a bit longer, maybe another hour or so, is manageable So he holds off and waits to eat with everyone Listening to this some of you might think, “Isn’t that a bit silly? If you’re hungry, just go eat.
Why worry so much about everyone else’s feelings?” But actually, I think this type of person isn’t really compromising himself I believe he made a choice and he’s happy with it When he decides to play a bit longer with everyone and then go eat together He feels joy in making a decision that makes everyone else happy He’s happy inside and not forcing himself Now, if we imagine a low-sensitivity person starts feeling hungry, they might turn to the person closest to them and ask, “Are we eating? I’m hungry.” When this person says that, you know, everyone at the table might start to feel a sort of… how should I put it… an invisible pressure from not knowing how to respond. There’s a difference between these two questions. The highly sensitive person I mentioned earlier phrased it as, “About how much longer will we be playing?” While the other person said, “Are we eating? I’m hungry.” Why does this create pressure? It’s because no one knows how to respond. If someone replies, “Uh… maybe we should stop playing and go eat,” it feels like everyone hasn’t fully enjoyed the game. But if they say, “Maybe we should eat a bit later,” “We can play a little longer,” there’s a worry that this response might hurt the person. If at this point, their closest friend, someone who’s very familiar with them, responds by saying, “How about we play a bit longer and then eat?” The low-sensitivity person might reply, “No worries, you all keep playing. I’ll just order food for myself.”
I don’t know if everyone understands that feeling. When he says this, the energy in the whole space is disrupted. Those who keep playing may no longer enjoy themselves, and the one who stops playing isn’t happy either. This creates a certain pressure. So, does the low-sensitivity person do anything wrong? I think he’s done nothing wrong at all. He’s just hungry, and he just wants to eat, right? If he’s hungry, he orders food for himself. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. I think he’s pretty cool. Imagine having someone like this in your life—wouldn’t that be cool? Later, I started to ponder the difference between these two types of people.
Then I thought, it seems like this can be divided into three steps. The first step is, when you meet someone, for the first time, your first step might be to observe them. Then, study them. Observe and study at the same time. What does that mean? It means you try to sense what kind of personality this person has, by observing them. Then you observe whether they are an extrovert (E) or an introvert (I). Are they knowledgeable, or not very educated? Are they wealthy or from an average family background? You would study them. Yes, first observe them. Then study them. What I mean is, you study them to get a sense of the kind of environment they grew up in. OK, that’s the first step. Now, the second step, is to anticipate them. By “anticipate,” I mean after you’ve observed and analyzed, you start to think about the potential relationship between you and this person. What might the future connection look like? Can this person be part of your social circle in the future? Could they become your friend? You think, “Hey, this person seems to have a nice personality.” Maybe we could be friends. We get along well. Or, going further, you find this person very attractive. You really like them. So you start to anticipate. You wonder if one day this person might become your lover You feel like their personality might match well with yours. Anticipation. The third step is to play a role. By “play a role,” I mean for example, when you go out with a friend, and this friend might be feeling down, wanting you to join them for a drink. At that moment, they might be experiencing an 80% emo state, while your emo feeling is only at 8%. But because you want to resonate with them, to connect, you will amplify your own 8% feeling to match their 80%, so you can share the experience. At this point, you two can communicate.
I think most people in life are playing roles. In daily life, we play roles in front of friends, at school, we play the role of a good student, a good friend, a good sister, or a good brother. And in front of the boss at work, we also have to play a role. We are always playing roles. However, such people are very kind. They don’t want to hurt anyone. And I feel that, when I suddenly thought of this, there does seem to be a distinction. Low-sensitivity individuals might only be able to do the first step. Those who are a bit better can do the second step. And high-sensitivity individuals can reach the third step. This creates three types of relationships. For example, if two high-sensitivity people are together, I think they might find it easier to resonate with each other due to constantly playing roles. This might lead to a lot of shared topics. They can easily find many commonalities.
However, the ability to play a role has its limits. That’s why your friends can spend a long time with you. It’s because the time you see your friends each day isn’t very long. So when you finish seeing them, after playing your role for a day, you can be yourself once you leave. But love is different. In love, when two people are living together, after you’ve played your role outside, you still have to play the role of a good wife or a good husband at home, a good partner.
But everyone eventually gets tired. So have you noticed that some people never argue in the first few months of dating? In the beginning, they might not fight at all. They feel the other person has many flaws, but they seem to accept them. But after a few months, those flaws suddenly become problems. Then arguments start to occur. Why is that? Because the time for playing roles has expired. When you decide to start being yourself, that’s when the arguments begin. So I think if two highly sensitive people are together, it should be somewhat better. Their arguments might end more quickly. They might argue and then realize that because of one issue, they’re not really on the same wavelength at that moment. So they might just say, “Forget it! Let’s not argue.” Just imagine that scene: the two of them might be back-to-back, spending the night apart. Then the next day, after they’ve digested their feelings, they can play their roles again. Suddenly, they might think, “ You know, yesterday’s argument wasn’t such a big deal.” Then they reconcile without much effort. This is what we call a cold war. But it resolves quickly.
What if a highly sensitive person is with a low-sensitivity person? I think when these two people are together, the duration of their arguments might be quite long. Especially if both have some knowledge and logical reasoning, a bit of intellect, the argument could extend significantly. Why is that? Because what you say is correct, and what I say is also correct. However, the points we are discussing always remain on parallel lines. Until one side gets tired of arguing. So I feel like all emotional bonds if you think about them hard enough, will inevitably have some pessimistic undertones. Then I wonder, why are there still people who can stay together for so long? I believe that it should be a sense of responsibility.
I think responsibility is a kind of awareness. While love is a kind of perception. So what I want to say is, if you are still single right now, when you choose your partner in the future, I hope or bless you to find a true soul mate. Because this way, you can be more at ease in the future. Even when making choices, your perception can easily overcome your awareness. And… oh, wait, I misspoke. Your awareness can easily overcome your perception. Then you will happily be together for a lifetime, even if there are occasional small arguments.
So if you are already in a relationship or married, maybe some people have already come to terms with it. What about those who are still struggling? I think you need to make a choice. Is perception more important, or is cognition more important? Once you make that choice, you will stop the internal conflict. You will feel much more at ease. Even if you occasionally argue, you will think, “Ah, he is just that kind of person.” I accept that he is just that kind of person. Then you will find life much easier. Similarly, even if you ultimately choose your perception, feeling that you cannot be with this person and decide to break up, that is also a choice you’ve made. You also know that you shouldn’t be too sad or heartbroken. Pain will exist, but I think it doesn’t have to be so devastating. Because this is a choice you made for yourself. You recognize the outcome for both of you, and you anticipate that it would lead to this outcome.
Of course, I’m speaking from the perspective of someone in my thirties, trying to understand love. Right. So I wrote this song. I didn’t write it to be so heart-wrenching. Although I’m good at writing such heart-wrenching songs, I didn’t write it that way. Because I feel that once you understand these things, the so-called pain in movies doesn’t seem so painful. And the warmth isn’t that warm either. Hmm. When writing these lyrics, I also communicated with Lyu Yiqiu (Lyricist) for a long time. We, two men in our thirties, spent two hours on the phone discussing what love is. Then we revised it several times. Sometimes it was too warm, and the second version was too painful. It hurt too much; I didn’t feel it was that painful. So we kept adjusting and adjusting, until we arrived at today’s version of the lyrics.

Videos

Mars Concert 2024 - Hangzhou

Official Video

Lyrics Translation

Lyricist: Lyu Yiqiu
Compose: Hua Chenyu

人之爱	Human’s Love
我们再重温 我们	Reliving it once more
争相承认爱其实是快乐	We race to admit that love brings joy.
放弃我轮廓 我都舍得	I’d even lose my form,
要和你相称骨骼脉搏心神	To match you in bone, pulse, and spirit.
是我们 没看透	It is us, unable to see it through
人之爱的因由	The reason for a human’s love
要诚恳要温柔要不问以后	Demands sincerity, tenderness, and blindness to tomorrow
当我们都再无保留	When we don’t hold anything back
我只有一个我 够不够	Is it enough that I am just this single self?
你出演你的十分	You play your flawless role,
而我只能等被你选择	While I can only wait, hoping you’ll choose me.
拿走我肉身还是灵魂	Will you take my flesh or my soul?
你爱我很完整	Do you love me whole,
还是那具分身	Or just a part of me?
只有我没看透	I am the only one who can’t yet see
人之爱的成就	A human’s love culminates in
要诀别要自由	Farewell, freedom
要相互愧疚	and shared guilt
摔碎过谁还要挽留	If it breaks, who still wish to save it?
我们都 遗憾过才会爱	We only love after regret settles in;
也许太赤裸	Too much honesty
就无法相守	May fray the ties we hold
短暂却换我所有	It maybe fleeting, yet worth all I have
当我们都再无所求	When we have nothing left to chase,
只去爱不去想够不够	Let love be, without wondering if it’s enough.