Searching for Myself AKA I Really Want Myself Back (好想我回来啊)
First released at “Mars Concert 2021” on December 3rd-5th, 2021. Officially released on December 20, 2022.
Be included in Hua Chenyu’s 5th album “Hope Forget”.
1. About the song
Healing Trilogy 2021
- Part One / Struggle Chapter “Searching for Myself”
- Part Two / Hope Chapter “We Meet When Flowers Fade”
- Part Three / Future Chapter “Let’s Go and Watch the Sunrise”
Hua Chenyu sharing his creative inspiration at Mars Concert 2021, before releasing this song for the first time
The first three songs are about the stories between other people and myself.
In the next three days, I want to talk about my stories.
Actually, you have just heard it.
I wrote Mars Trilogy two years ago.
Actually, when I wrote “I’m Here AKA I Really Want to Love This World”.
I was actually in great pain during that period.
Right. I struggled a lot.
I once thought of giving up everything.
Also, I thought about letting go of my pains.
It was like…How should I put it?
It was like two little people were fighting in my head every day.
One of them told me: “Hua Hua, you should give up everything.”
The other told me that you should try hard to live a life to live a good life.
So in that state, I really really missed the self that I used to be.
I missed the self ….How should I put it?
The self who cared a lot about my life.
The self who cared about enjoying everyday.
Even if I stayed at home a lot everyday.
And my life was very simple.
Then, Later, I tried to change my frame of mind.
And I tried to live in a different way.
Then I found that after I changed my way of life.
I changed my mind set completely.
So this year, I wrote the Healing Trilogy.
The next song was written after “I Really Want to Love This World”.
The first of the trilogy is the “Struggling Chapter”.
Today, I want to share my state at that time.
This song is called “I Really Want Myself Back (AKA Searching for Myself)”.
2. Videos
Mars Concert 2021
3. Lyrics Translation
Lyricist: Pei Yu |
| 好想我回来啊 | Searching for Myself |
|---|---|
| 我想说 却在开口的时候变沉默 | I want to talk, yet I became silent when I opened my mouth |
| 这世界 又神秘又赤裸 | This world is mysterious and naked |
| 我该要怎么做 新的未来才会兑现承诺 | What should I do, so that the new future will keep its promise? |
| 躲在角落 会让人更焦灼 | It’s more distressing to wait in the corner |
| 太多爱的名义奔赴在我的领地 | Too much paraded into my realm in the name of love |
| 那些只言片语戳中我的心 | Those phrases stabbed my heart |
| 太多童话梦境出现在我的回忆 | Too many dreamy fairy tales appeared in my memory |
| 就像唯一稻草勒住我的心 | Just like the single straw that tightened around my heart |
| 曾经我 悲观 孤单 遗憾 不堪 | I once was gloomy, lonely, rueful, anguished |
| 感叹 疲倦 辗转 难安 | Moanful, fatigued, agitated, unsettled |
| 看淡 释然 放慢 长谈 | Indifferent, relieved, slower-paced, talkative |
| 期盼 远看 了断 勇敢 | Hopeful, clear-sighted, decisive, courageous |
| 一半 明白 一半 混乱 | Half clear, half confused |
| 一半 简单 一半 很难 | Half easy, half difficult |
| 全都 全都 与你无关 | Nothing, nothing is related to you |
| 想太多 站在人群之中茫然失措 | Thinking too much, losing myself in the crowd |
| 没什么 面具下都寂寞 | It’s nothing. Everyone is lonely under a mask |
| 我有我的节奏 善待所有哪怕不属于我 | I have my own rhythm, treat everything with kindness even if they are not mine |
| 请別再说 你何必这样活 | Please don’t say “Why do you have to live like this?” again |
| 太多爱的名义奔赴在我的领地 | Too much paraded into my realm in the name of love |
| 那些只言片语戳中我的心 | Those phrases stabbed my heart |
| 太多童话梦境出现在我的回忆 | Too many dreamy fairy tales appeared in my memory |
| 就像唯一稻草勒住我的心 | Just like the single straw that tightened around my heart |
| 曾经我 悲观 孤单 遗憾 不堪 | I once was gloomy, lonely, rueful, anguished |
| 感叹 疲倦 辗转 难安 | Moanful, fatigued, agitated, unsettled |
| 看淡 释然 放慢 长谈 | Indifferent, relieved, slower-paced, talkative |
| 期盼 远看 了断 勇敢 | Hopeful, clear-sighted, decisive, courageous |
| 一半 明白 一半 混乱 | Half clear, half confused |
| 一半 简单 一半 很难 | Half easy, half difficult |
| 全都 全都 与你无关 | Nothing, nothing is related to you |
| 如果我 悲观 孤单 遗憾 不堪 | If I am gloomy, lonely, rueful, anguished |
| 感叹 疲倦 辗转 难安 | Moanful, fatigued, agitated, unsettled |
| 看淡 释然 放慢 长谈 | Indifferent, relieved, slower-paced, talkative |
| 期盼 远看 了断 勇敢 | Hopeful, clear-sighted, decisive, courageous |
| 一半 明白 一半 混乱 | Half clear, half confused |
| 一半 简单 一半 很难 | Half easy, half difficult |
| 就算 就算 与你有关 | Even if, even if it’s related to you |
| 但我 会向前看 | Yet I’ll look forward |